I’m laying across our bed shaking violently with drops of rage rolling down my face.  ‘How did we get here’ are the words that I have been repeating out loud since 3 am.  With my eyes glued to the ceiling i replay the dream I just awoke from. I am crying looking at a shattered crown royal glass strewn underneath the Christmas tree. I walk into the kitchen and look around. I open the door to the garage to see him balled up in our comforter from the bedroom. I pull back the blanket to see a sickly face consisting of half blue moons sitting underneath two sunken eyelids. My lungs expand for air as cells in in my body try to comprehend how this has happened. “Jeremy please come inside” I beg him but he only jerks the cover down hard over his face. “You will get pneumonia sleeping on this cold concrete floor that Cassie used to sleep on. I did not say that you have to sleep out here in the garage, so if you stay out here that is your choice.” I slam the door and cry until I can not cry anymore. ‘In the name of Jesus I rebuke you satan, in the name of Jesus I declare you to leave’ I scream at the top of my lungs. Standing over rhe kitchen sink I stare past the window into the back yard and suddenly an enormous  cyclonic cloud appears casting a dark shadow onto the yard. This cloud grows bigger and darker by the second and paralyzed with fear the only words that can escape my lips were ‘In the name of Jesus, Jesus,…..Jesus’. From this large cloud a large dragon slithered down from the sky towards the windown I am looking through. I scream with fear as snatch the back door open to shake Jeremy awake. I am screaming he has to come inside as he is pushing me away. “There is a dragon outside” I scream as he jumps up with a look on his bruised face to be described as amusement. The garage door being to push open and we both run into the kitchen and slam the door. I crawl towards the sink and pull myself up just enough to see out of the window. The supernatural dragon is circling the backyard for the house furiously as if sniffing out a blood trail. I am calling out to Jesus to rebuke these demon forces and as the whole house begins to shake suddenly I wake up. It was a dream. Demons be gone. This house is mine, and to be used the glory of God.

“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.” (‭Matthew‬ ‭7‬:‭24-27‬ ESV)


Lord there is pain in my heart, pain in my heart
Minute Second Hour Second Hour Minute
How is that
Rays of the sun radiate down
the torrent always follows
Lightening and hail
Broken heart try to fix my broken heart
looking in all the wrong places
Help someone if you can
try all your might
what if you fail
silly girl you can’t help yourself
fix yourself
Grace fixaflat
You said
if I am empty in one area
Believe on You
and in the mean time Give give give
Give from what?
Pour out to others
Fill fill fill
Feel it filling up inside me
Pours out pours out some more
Holy Spirit rain reign down on me
this moment has been a dream
Finally i can feel
Here it comes rolling in
swoosh swhish whoom bhamm
Immerse under up under
Watch wave ripple smooth ripple
Sparks will fly
Lightning flash across the skyline
drop drop drip drap crap hail
oh it comes too
pinch pank ache angst
My heart
Your Heart
Your word says that you are who you say you are
You can do what you say you can do
I am who you say I am
I can do all through Christ
Declares your word
I will believe on
Yes shield of salvation i will wear
Trumpets will sound
wait Waiting I wait for You
King is coming
Yes Lord
Lord almighty
Praise you Jesus
God my Father
in heaven above
I yearn for
Pour out
overwhelm my heart
Raining down
on me
and us